If you have been reading this blog for the past year, I would love to say thank you for your time and investment into reading the things that cause so much tension in and around both of us. If this is your first time reading, welcome! This blog was created because I have a deep passion to sit with people in the moments of life where there is tension between the both/and. So much of life is having what you need, but not yet taking hold of what you long for. We experience passion and disappointment, grief and joy, love and longing. And although these words can be slightly separated on a page when they are written, the time it takes for a heart to grow through the process is not often that short or easy. That season, in and of itself, is a lonely season where words often fail. You and I are becoming... but that takes time and a whole lot of breaking.
In this next year, I believe The Becoming will have many writings about victories, freedom, joy, and growth. I am learning to laugh at myself a little more and to continue to learn more of how to communicate a deep vulnerability in an approachable way. Have you ever been around that person that shares way too much too fast? Yeah.... I have probably been that person a time or two (lol). I am learning to hold and to give. To balance one of my greatest strengths (authenticity) with one of my greatest weaknesses (saying too much at times). Tempering passion is hard!
So! As I look back on the past year, I want to share with you one thing that is part of the culture that I am cultivating within myself, in my home, and even with my closest of friends. I am fully aware that when a person is feeling tension within a growing season, it is often times hard to laugh and experience joy. One thing that has been a game-changer for me is choosing to celebrate small things each week.
I choose to celebrate with things such as:
1. Tacos
2. Chocolate sprinkled donuts
3. A good book and time alone (not for everyone..lol)
I am also learning to celebrate others when I notice they are growing in a certain area that they have been working on. Any sort of validation and affirmation in a hard season/area goes a long way. What is most important about this is the fact that I have learned that The Father celebrates the small things each day over us. He sings over us and He showers us with His affection and love. When I began to tune into the joy, affirmation, and the celebration over my life from My Father, I began to find fulfillment and acceptance in ways that feed my soul. It shifted my mindset from a "perfectionistic mindset" to a "process mindset". Just as a child learning to walk or learning to ride a bike; praise, affirmation, and reassurance are part of the equation. It is not any different for us adults.
I have been given crucial relationships in the past few years that point out the things they see me growing in. This is a huge aspect of cultivating a celebratory culture in your life. You have to have people who celebrate you beyond just your birthday! By nature, I can identify and always talk about the things that need to be tweaked because I deeply desire growth and healthiness... what I am learning is that this has to be coupled with my culture of celebration. I have not yet mastered this process. Actually, just last night, one of my confidants helped expose that these things have not been bridged together. However, I am going to celebrate with taco parties and donuts each time I take a step toward these things coexisting at the same time. Why?
Because it is the tension of the both/and: Loving those around you (and yourself) to new depths of growth and healing and celebrating them (and yourself) in the process!! On one hand, it is being honest and truthful and asking hard questions... but on the other hand, every person needs a "hype" moment. People matter to me. Growth and healthiness matter to me. And as I have grown spiritually, healed emotionally, and stepped out of my constricted religiosity; joy and celebration matter to me.
It all coexists together in a beautiful tension of the both/and. It is... becoming.
By Grace,
Cortney Rae