Atlanta, GA. Home of the Braves. (And all my Atlanta Braves fans begin doing "the chop"...if you know, you know). It is the city that broadened my horizons about people and the American culture when I was only 14 years old. Up to that point, I was a Texan-native (predominantly West Texas) who knew small cities, ball fields with dust, and being ushered into the church walls every time they were open. How different could it be? It is all part of the South, right?!
Wrong.
There are similarities, but when I moved to Atlanta, I found more people who did not talk like me, act like me, or look like me...and I absolutely fell in love with it! I loved being in a place where people were from all over the world. It kindled a fire in the part of my heart for the nations. Let me not get too far ahead of myself though. Let's back up 17 years from today...
I was 14 years old when my parents made the move to the Southeast Coast. At this point, I had experiences with sexual abuse that no one knew about. I had learned how to play the "preacher's kid" which has it's own pressures and struggles all on its own. The sin of anger had already wrapped it's deep roots in my heart, and resentment had grown in my silence. "Tell no one." "Keep it all together." "You better look and say all the right things." The shame from my experiences created a blanket that I hid behind for no one to see the real me. If they saw the real me, I would be rejected...cast out of church doors...and the greatest lie of them all, abandoned by my family. I was immensely struggling with a broken identity and a deep sexual sin. In silence.
I never knew the damaging effects that just one experience with sexual abuse could have on a person. However, the damage is catastrophic. And Satan knows that. He can destroy a person's identity emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and sexually in just a few moments from these type of experiences, but the consequences can last a lifetime if not dealt with under the authority of Christ. It is a breeding ground for all types of sins to evolve and fester.
You may be asking, "Cortney, what does this have to do with Atlanta?"
The damaging effects of sexual abuse are catastrophic.
In just a few moments, the consequences can last a lifetime
if not dealt with under the authority of Christ.
Well friend, the last time I was in Atlanta was about 4 years ago. This was before I had an encounter with the real Jesus. It was before my salvation, healing, and deliverance that the Lord graced to me. This would be the first time that Jesus would be leading me back to where some of the most demonic and dark abuse started in my life at the age of 14. Christ came into my life 3 years ago and believe me, I have tripped and failed as the Lord has carefully untangled me from so many lies. I fought Him...questioned Him...trusted Him one moment and then would take steps back. However, only as The Lord can, He used this trip to give closure in my heart in so many of the places that He has faithfully tended to. As I walked through the days in Atlanta, God kept highlighting places where particular things had happened and where lies had been spoken in the dark. However, God in His merciful power would be giving me closure to walk ahead in confidence of what He has done in the secret place in my life. Matthew 10:26-31 says these words:
"Therefore do not fear them. For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, and hidden that will not be know. "Whatever I tell you in the dark, speak in the light; and what you hear in the ear; preach on the housetops. "And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. But rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. "Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father's will. "But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. "Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."
This week, I will be going into more detail to speak of the truth of this passage, but for today, I must choose to be obedient to my Father who is asking me to make known what He has done in the secret places of my heart. The time is now for me to shout from the rooftops what the Lord has done in secret. But why do this? Is this for my own glory? No! Not at all! You need to know that I have done nothing on my own accord to have the freedom that I have today. Jesus has done every ounce of it!! I have said "yes" along the way, step-by-step, but even in that...the Holy Spirit has given me the courage, faith, trust, and power to do so!
Beloved, here is the truth...When Jesus comes into your life, He supernaturally creates a new heart that is turned toward Himself. What do I mean by this? In the sense of the word turn, I am saying that He gives a heart of repentance. Above all, the heart is deceitful and wicked without the Holy Spirit (Jeremiah 17:9). Every one of us is wicked. Evil. Deceitful. We are separated from God in our sin and have fallen short of His glory (Romans 3:23). Through the confession of our faith in Christ and turning toward Him from our sin, the glorious road of salvation is for every one of us. God is notorious for turning people who are drunks, addicted to porn, adulterers, homosexuals, gluttons, murderers, satanists, backstabbers, liars, gossips, (and any other label you can think of) into people redeemed by His blood. We are not redeemed by our works!! We have been counted as righteous because of the confession and faith in His work on the cross. There are people who have turned from their wicked ways, repented, have been filled with the Holy Spirit, and have the fruit of Christ flowing out of their life. How can this be? How does He do this? "'Not by might or by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord of Host" (Zech 4:6).
The question is who and/or what are you chasing?
This week, I am going to write more on chasing the glory of God. It is the reason we were created and it is what we are supposed to seek more than anything in this life. I wanted to set up this series with explaining more about my story and what Christ continues to walk me through. Please send me a note if you would like to share your story and are need of someone to pray with you during this season. This blog is meant for community and devoting my life to teaching, prayer, and breaking of bread with anyone that the Lord puts in front of me. This is just an avenue for those things to happen!
Prepare your heart to chase the glory with me this week! You are so very loved.
By Grace,
Cortney Rae